The man I’ll spend my life with…
• He will believe in God and value his teachings. This doesn’t mean that he will be a fanatic, but he will put God first and acknowledge his role in our lives.
• He will value honesty. A man of integrity who will know that we’re a team and there is nothing that he can’t tell me, and he won’t want to lie because it goes against his principles.
• He will be financially independent. His finances will be in order and he will have plans in place for our future. He will value comfort and the finer things in life, but money will not be everything to him.
• We will laugh together. The best friend in his life will be me, as he is mine. We will share every small part of our lives, have the same sense of humour and be comfortable with each other.
• He will have a positive, ‘don’t-take-yourself-too-seriously’ attitude to life.
• He will be tall, with a small to medium build, with gentle warm hands.
• He will enjoy reading, enjoy having intellectual conversations and sometimes getting philosophical and pondering the deeper questions about life.
• He will have passions that are separate to all that we have in common, these he will pursue and love, but always make space for me and our family.
• He will find the earthy, nurturing side of me very attractive and he will value the essence of who I am (natural, simple, traditional and beautiful).
• We will compliment each other in everything. But we will not be reliant on each other to feel complete. He is a whole person without me, as I am a whole person without him. But together, we bring out the best in each other. (1 + 1 = 3)
• He will find my childlike manner charming and even when I become a busy-body and forgetful, he will think it’s cute and always try to accommodate and understand me.
• He will do all that is within his power to make our relationship work, never give up on us or consciously jeopardise the relationship.
• He will respect himself and not allow me to overpower him or take advantage of his kind nature.
• He will have a spontaneous side to him which will match mine and bring flavour to our relationship as we constantly spice things up by doing things that are daring and out of the ordinary.
• We will strive to build each other up, grow together and be each other’s source of strength (after God).
• He will know all my deepest secrets, but appreciate the woman I’ve become having gone through all that I have. He will admire me.
• He will be artistic (poetry/music/painting or some form of artistic expression).
• He will be humble, treat different classes of people with the same level of respect.
• He will embrace his role as the man and head of the family, as well as my role as his partner and earn my respect. As I submit to him, he will lead and take control, but never take advantage.
• He will consult me in major decisions and respect my opinions and viewpoints.
• He will detest any form of woman abuse, he will never lay a hand on me in anger.
• When he’s uncertain, afraid, insecure or something is bothering him, he will communicate this to me and we will deal with it together.
• He will be in love with all the different sides of me (serious, spiritual, fun, crazy, professional, philosophical, deep, superficial).
• He will be protective of me and always feel the need to keep me safe, secure and comfortable.
• He will always strive to keep me happy and thank God for the blessing of having me in his life (as I will be doing the same).
• He will be smart, assertive and articulate. Able to speak his mind and engage me intellectually.
• He will support me in my dream to become a published author and he will constantly encourage and inspire me to reach for my dreams (as I will be doing the same for him).
• He will be comfortable with who he is and celebrate the different elements of his personality. He won’t require approval or validation from others, but he will be respectful and tactful.
• He will respect my private nature. Know and understand my fears related to intimacy, but constantly and gently strive to get to know all there is to know about me.
• He will allow me to talk, he will realise that expression is what makes me who I am and he will embrace how I express myself through conversation, how I dress, how I decorate the house, through poetry, with photography & art.
• He will never cheat on me on an emotional and/or physical level.
• He will be good looking and confident, but remain humble.
• He will not be threatened by my job or my intellect. But he will not rely on me to be the provider for the family, he will want to be the man and the bread-winner.
• He will be jealous of other men but he will trust me and know that I would never cheat on him or betray what we have.
• He won’t get complacent, he will always be reminding me of how much I mean to him and how he adores me.
• He will be empathetic towards the HIV/Aids pandemic.
• He will have experienced some suffering in his life that will humble him.
• He will be comfortable in social situations and able to adapt to different people.
• He will be comfortable with getting emotional around me, but that doesn’t mean that he will cry often.
• He will take note of important dates and celebrate them with me.
• Although we will both make mistakes, he will remember what has hurt or upset me in the past and make sure that he doesn’t hurt me in the same way again.
• My mother will approve of him.
• He will never get tired of telling me and showing me that he loves me.
• He will find me very intelligent and he will be in love with my mind and my unique view of the world.
• Sexually, he will always pursue giving me pleasure and satisfying me in every way. He will know what excites me and keep finding new ways to take my breath away.
• He will be a versatile lover and know that some days I need an emotional validation from love making, but other days it’s all physical, wild and natural.
• He will have good advisors and when he feels he can’t talk to me, he won’t run to the arms of another woman, rather discuss the issue with a trusted friend.
• He will have a thick skin.
• His family will be supportive of our union and although they will be an important part of our lives, he will always consider what is best for us when making a decision.
• We will stand up for each other and never allow anyone to ridicule or belittle the other person.
• He will be well groomed, and able to look after himself, but he won’t be anal or obsessive.
• After a stressful day, he will find nothing more soothing than sitting alone with me and talking, or a good massage from me or listening to me while I play the piano.
• He will not smoke cigarettes, but he will drink.
• He will not do any drugs, even recreationally.
• He will have good cooking skills and occasionally cook for me.
• He will love my eyes, my height and the shape of my body.
• He will not play ‘survivor’ with me. Meaning that he won’t make me bend over backwards in order to prove that I’m ‘wife material’.
• He will have healthy male tendencies (sport, spending time with the boys, drinking beer, porn etc.).
• He will be mature. During an argument he won’t get childish, insensitive or be cruel.
• He will have an entrepreneurial spirit, and pursue his goals.
• He will love my cooking.
• He will value culture, tradition and where we came from.
• He will be a nurturing, loving and occasionally strict father who adores his children and wants the best for them.
• I will fit at least 80% of his list of requirements of the ideal woman.
The End
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