Reflections on 2018 - The Year of Makunyiwe

 In 2018 I turned 33, and it also happened to be my double-crown birthday. So it’s been (and continues to be) a year of major shifts in my life. Some that were voluntary and others that I never could’ve seen coming. More than it being a year of great achievement, 2018 was a year of setting (and if I’m honest, testing) foundations. It was the universe propelling me towards what is still quite a ‘magic carpet ride’ and also the year of shedding a lot of weight / baggage whilst going deeper into my most authentic self. The journey has been anything but smooth, but the process was deeply necessary. The quote in the image above came to me when I imagined how different my life would’ve been if I was born 50 or 100 years ago. It was either this pic or the one with the line: ‘Walk as if you’ve got 10 000 ancestors walking behind you.’ The sentiment is the same as it relates to me being the culmination of thousands of years of evolution and embracing how far we’ve come as Africans. I also like the reference to madness, in 2018 I think I regained my title as ‘that crazy one’ in the family. They say some people suffer from insanity whilst others find joy in their madness. I’ve always aspired to be the latter. The 3 biggest highlights (not farming related) from my year from a growth point of view are: 1) Getting retrenched at the beginning of the year (2) The Secret To Money App and (3) my family giving their blessing for me to really explore my path into Afrikan spirituality. The decision to quit alcohol was also a major highlight, but more a by-product of me no longer needing the escape that alcohol offered, because I was no longer living a life I needed to escape from. Not to mention the Cost / Benefit ratio of drinking. Alcohol is not only expensive it’s taxing on the body and spirit. To everyone who asks if I’ll ever drink again, my answer has been: Maybe some day, for now all I know is that I need space, and to rediscover who I am without booze.

Below is a summary of some of the biggest lessons learnt in 2018.

1. When the ground is not fertile, most of your efforts will be futile. This was imparted to me by a very special lady whose wisdom, passion and ‘swag’ inspires me a great deal. The lesson was related to self-development and spiritual growth. Other teachers throughout the year validated this lesson, and I even recall 2 parables in the bible with a similar teaching. The one is about the man who built his house on a rock whilst another built his on the sand, and the other parable is about the sower of seeds in different types of soil. For me personally, this related to ‘getting my house in order’ before wanting to conquer the world. Basic things like taking care of my health, eating well, breathing, making time to meditate and also supplementing my diet with healthy superfoods (i.e. Moringa, I now swear by it!). It also spoke to being deliberate about what I spend my time and energy on. At a spiritual level it spoke to making a concerted effort to get closer to (my) God by studying and spending time with people who share my Afrikan Spirituality beliefs.
2. I’ve grown up hearing the term: ‘You do not receive because you do not ask’ in relation to prayer and it’s always made me feel guilty for forgetting to list something or mention someone when I pray. But this year I learnt the value of being specific and clear about what I want from my life (myself, relationships, career). The more time I spend with people who’re fulfilled / successful in their lives, the more I realise how important it is to be very clear about what you want.
3. There are 2 images / memes that people like to share that have always intrigued and also scared me. The one is the image of the donkey that’s tied to a plastic chair. It’s accompanied by the caption: ‘Sometimes the chains that prevent us from being free are more mental than physical’. The 2nd one is an image of a man who’s in a deep hole that is filled with ladders. But rather than use one of the ladders to step out of the hole, he stacks the ladders on top of each other and still can’t reach the top. Both of these scare me because the idea of having all the necessary resources at my disposal and still remaining stuck is troubling. Learning to recognise limiting thoughts and assumptions was a valuable lesson in 2018.
4. The single biggest lesson I learnt in 2018 was to change my relationship with money. That’s where ‘The Secret To Money App’ comes in. I can’t really describe all the benefits of having installed the app, but the major one was to quantify what happiness is for myself. Having an hour long conversation with an old friend and putting a monetary value to that, spending time with my son, working on the farm and learning new things. All of this put into perspective my decision to never work for a boss again. The exercises also allowed me to identify what means the most to me, like the idea of having a rich & fulfilling life rather than spending money accumulating ‘stuff’. I remember each time I got a call from recruiters and the knot at the pit of my stomach each time I think of going back into the rat race (working 8 hours a day, 5 days a week) and losing my newfound freedom. I won’t lie and say it’s been smooth sailing because it hasn’t, but as I was telling a friend recently: “This life is more ME than corporate life ever was.”
5. This lesson seems to be linked to a few I’ve already mentioned but I decided to put it separately because of it’s significance. In 2018 I learnt to live a life based on my biggest values (Excellence, Freedom and Honesty, as per the tattoo on my back). Freedom being the biggest one, whilst also defining what excellence and honesty mean for me now that I’m no longer part of the corporate sector. Living from my biggest values has also been the most rewarding part of my journey as I’ve personally defined for myself what success means to me.
6. It’s okay to be a work-in-progress and a masterpiece at the same time. I’ve been debating whether to add some experiences that took place this year as part of my reflections and if I’m honest, I’m now at peace with the idea that some things cannot be explained, only experienced.
7. One of the most liberating decisions I made this year was to no longer post every aspect of my life on social media (particularly Facebook). To let a birthday go by, an amazing holiday / receive great news and not feel compelled to bare my soul on Facebook. This is mainly because over the years I’ve realised that I spend more time capturing and sharing rather than savouring each moment. Likes and comments can also cause anxiety as they either validate or nullify the importance of the experience. I now choose to immerse myself in the moment a lot more, I would highly recommend it!

If nothing else, 2018 was the year of undergoing a metamorphosis (similar to caterpillars turning into butterflies). It wasn’t easy, but as I mentioned earlier, deeply necessary.

I will add more as we wrap the year to a close, and hopefully also reflect on my dreams / vision / prayers for 2019. After all is said and done, the universe is unfolding as it should.

Ozithobayo

uMaDlamini