Reflections on 2012 - FB Note

 

It was a kak year, the end. In short, when I write the autobiography of my life, the chapter on 2012 will be titled: A Glorious Disaster.

 

Maybe that's the reason why I have taken so long to do this. Since 2007, at the end of the year I write a note, reflecting on the year I've had. How I've grown, what I've learnt, who's shaped my life (*yawn*), the same usual stuff. But honestly, when it comes to 2012, I didn't feel like it (still don't). I write, it's my passion , but for a change, even I'm tired of wearing my heart on my sleeve for people to 'like' and comment 'oh my word, I feel the same way, thanks for sharing!'

 

Why can't I just have a secret closet of skeletons like the rest of the world, why can't my ups and downs be private? I have 442 FB friends, only 3 are 'relative strangers', the rest I've met before. About two hundred are by association (Linpark, Tukkies and SAB), another 100 are people I vaguely remember meeting, another 100 are family or friends of family members and well, 42 friends. So, until last night I was convinced I wouldn't be doing a Reflections on 2012 note. Then I took some time to read all the notes from 2007- 2011. I've done a lot of growing in the last 6 years and although I do forget, going through the notes does remind me, I've come a long way. This note is probably not for the first 400 of my FB friends, but the last 42. Who am I kidding, not even the 42, my 3 best friends are the only ones morally bound by law to entertain my madness, and for those 3 I'd be happy to do this, so here goes. These are just some of the lessons the year taught me:

 

1) God is real. No seriously, he is. When all is said and done, if all else fails, go back to your manufacturer. My biggest lesson/question in 2012 was: God, who am I? You made me? What did you make me for if all I'm doing is not working out?

 

2) Tough love is still love.Those you love most are the ones you can be the toughest with, in the name of love.

 

3) I'm a good person. Curled up in a ball, unable to get out of bed, that's the only thing I still knew for sure. When your whole world turns upside down, repeat these words: I'm a good person. 

 

4) You are not always in control of all things all the time. Embracing the mystical/magical/horrific/tragic it's important to always remember, you are not always in control of everything all the time.

 

5) Faith is a knowing. #Nuffsaid

 

6) I am not emotionally responsible for any human being I didn't give birth to, marry or adopt. People go through things, and as nice as you believe yourself to be, you are not responsible for any adult, ever.

 

7) Arrogance aside, I'm f***in' good at what I'm good at. And I should not be apologetic about that, whilst not being arrogant. Arrogance is for insecure people #JustSaying

 

8) Do what you can, where your are, with what you've got. That ought to be a universal principle. Without wishing for what isn't, make the best of what you have.

 

9) Marriage, motherhood and entrepreneurship are not for sissies. Just because I'm good at a lot of things, doesn't mean I'm grown up enough to handle any of these 3. Mad respect to those who can #TrueStory!

 

10) Gold lies in rivers undiscovered, hidden from the sight of those who don't know what to look for (Gold, Beverly Knight). Never doubt your own light, even when nothing around you confirms what you know to be a fact. It is what it is...

 

11) Let every dream be bigger than just what You have to gain, when you serve a purpose bigger than yourself, you understand the meaning of life.

 

12) Don't sleep all you want, spend all you have or believe all you hear.

 

13) Dance, when all else fails, just go deep within you and find your joy. Dance.

 

14) Related to the previous point, there is always something to celebrate and be grateful for. Find the beauty in your world, it can be the only difference between life and death. #Stru

 

15) Go into the dark places, allow yourself to fall. That is the only way you can know true compassion and taste the sweetness of success.

 

Okay, I'll stop on 15. But I must say this, most entrepreneurs never tell you this: It will get hard, it will get impossible, whatever idealistic and romantic ideas you may have had will crash before your eyes, on your way to success. The only difference between winners and losers is how they handle the tough times. Tell yourself this one thing: I AM A WINNER! Loss is a mild inconvenience when you know for a fact that you're a winner.

 

In the words of Sfiso Ncwane, 'Zincane izibongo zami, wangithenga ngegazi', when I remember what the Lord has done for me, I cannot help but praise him. The only thing that got me through 2012 was my faith in God, and in my spirit I'm grateful for the lesson.'

 

After all is said and done... "2012 wasn't easy, but it was worth it!"