Back to basics

I honestly believe my life is a comedy. Here I was, a day into my new fabulous job and my teeth decide to turn on me. For the last couple of weeks I've been getting a few aches, but nothing that a pain-killer or two couldn't handle. I've been quite impressed actually, with everything that's been going on in 2012, I really couldn't deal with the soul-deep, paralyzing, excruciating pain of toothaches. The last time it got this bad was last year, I remember walking out in the middle of a movie premiere I'd been invited to, practically in tears. The movie itself was a comedy so I couldn't exactly claim that it was the reason for the tears *rolls eyes*.

Someone once said that child-birth and heart-break are the most painful things in life, clearly they'd never been woken up in the middle of the night with the searing pain of tooth-ache. You question the meaning of life, cry, toss and turn, cry a bit more and the pain is still there. On a bad night, I've gone through 6 pain killers, had to call my BFF and find out at which point it officially becomes attempted suicide to take so many pills. She told me to stop being dramatic, pain-killers won't kill you, just zombify you maybe.

Anywhoo, back to the comedy that is my life. I drive to my dentist's office, get told there are no openings until tomorrow afternoon, but the lady at the reception sweetly states: 'In the mean-time, gargle with salt water, it will help.' I gave her one of my most charming smiles, wondering what drug she was on to think I'd still be alive in 24 hours time. I left the office, went to the pharmacy and got enough pain-killers to sink a ship.

Did I mention that since Monday, I'd barely been able to eat? Oh, and when I got back to work I tried the salt-water concoction, did the pain not almost knock me the f*** out?! But after about 10 minutes it started to work, so I guess I need to thank that lovely receptionist at the dentist shame, it wasn't a conspiracy to kill me. Now with all the delightful pain, I can't even imagine the idea of solid food. Or anything that's hot or that's cold or needs to be chewed. Limiting my choices quite substantially *sigh...*

But then I remembered my mom's advice, when you've got a tooth-ache, you need to make mageu and drink it. It's a proper meal replacement and yes it's got all the vitamins and great things. So in the last 4 days I've lived on a solid diet of Mageu Number 1, breakfast = mageu, lunch = more mageu and supper = even more mageu. It's actually worked like a charm, quite filling and I've tried every taste under the sun (well, under the sun at my local garage, I see those ladies behind the till giving me a 'geez this girl loves her mageu' look, but that's the least of my problems),

Yesterday morning, I went into Randburg, looking for another dentist. I used to have one, in one of the more unsavoury parts of Randburg, he never used to believe me when I told him how painful my gums were, definitely didn't have the best bedside manner. I do remember him being cheap though. I walked around, couldn't find him and decided to go into the mall. Followed the signs and arrived at this other dentists office. Now I know no one will believe this, but although it was almost 10am the dentist hadn't arrived, I was the 3rd person in the queue and there was a power failure in the mall. Even with my limited knowledge of medicine, I'm sure dentists need electricity... I love how funny life is when it's not funny.

I spoke to the receptionist, she told me that considering my symptoms, I need to take a course of anti-inflammatories for 5 days, let the swelling go down and then come back for them to 'fix me'. I've developed a great respect for receptionists at dentist offices, so I took her wise words to heart and got the antibiotics.

I woke up with a swollen cheek this morning, but like a soldier I popped my cocktail of meds, got my mageu and went to work. After just a couple of hours, my boss told me to go home, guess this Rambo act wasn't really fooling anyone...

I'm really hoping that my Christmas is a pain-free one, imagine going through it unable to eat all those treats. *trauma!*

Oh and if I could wish upon a star, it would be so cool if I lost a bit of weight from this exercise as well... I'm seeing a sexy bikini body in my near future,

But shout-out to Mageu Number One, sometimes going back to basics and taking mommy's advice can be the best thing you can do.... as I have my banana-flavoured mageu for supper, (",)

Wild Wild West (Nigeria 2012)

When we found out that it costs about R8k to get a visa for Nigeria, we decided that it's waaay too much and we'd take taxis (the ECOWAS region isn't too strict about passports as members of the region can pass through each country with ease). That's how we got to see Togo and Benin. A 15 hour roadtrip through West Africa. Our driver was a short, tiny man but he had a huge presence. One of those 'Don't mess with me' types who's very street wise. The first shock came when we left Accra, he started with a prayer for us all to have a safe journey. Then when we stopped at the Togo/Benin border some of the guys on the taxi with us bought yam and giblets. Then they offered us some as we continued to drive, that was cool. They also had wine but we gently declined the offer to sip. At some point I lost count of the number of bribes that had to be paid along the way, and there was a point where a guard/cop/soldier came into the bus and was asking people lots of questions and even accused this one guy who had a laptop of internet fraud, but our driver handled it, so in the end we made it!

There's no place on earth like Nigeria! I cannot begin to describe the intensity of everything there. Someone once said that Lagos is an insult to your senses, everything you see, taste, touch, smell is overwhelming! That's a bit dramatic, to me the place was just blissful chaos and intoxicating energy. From when we first arrived, spending 3 hours in traffic on a Friday night, seeing huge crowds of people in the middle of the night just going about their business like it's daytime, it was definitely the experience of a life-time!

Yet for me, the richest part of my time in Lagos was the conversations we had with my friend Omoh. Being stuck in all that traffic gave us a lot of time to talk, and talk we did. Surprisingly enough, we both come from countries which are notorious for something (Corruption in Nigeria and Crime in SA). I realised that to a certain extent, we constantly have to keep apologising for the things our countrymen often do. I was shocked to hear of how Omoh on one of his visits to SA was confronted at the airport with a woman who stamped his Visa and said: 'It's valid for 3 months, now don't stay here for 3 years!' OMW! I was touched to hear that. Then, as if that wasn't enough, when he went outside the airport, he met a policeman who wanted a R100 bribe and said if he didn't pay it he'd be arrested. When I heard that, I was dumbfounded, totally speechless... But my friend took it all in his stride... He says the one thing that changed his mind about South Africans was when one of our common friends invited him to stay at his house, he hadn't expected the hospitality and has since seen that not all of us are rude/corrupt. I was proud to hear that we still have good advocates for South Africa and even more that not all of us see someone from the continent and automatically judge them.

The other interesting part of our conversation was how ingrained corruption is in Nigeria. Omoh mentioned that people see top officials taking from the people and not being punished so the average man on the street realises that he also should make a quick buck where he can.  A few WoW moments for me included hearing that Nigeria has got over 100 TV stations, 36 provinces and Nollywood is really making an impact on the world's stage! We passed this huge building and that's apparently one of the Castles for one of the Kings. The place was beautiful and looked bigger than the white house.

Then I saw something I've never seen in SA, a drive-through ATM! The mall was also pretty cool, it felt just like being in Sandton/Menlyn. Omoh had to get me medication for my flu (which was just ruining the experience for me) and then we went to Open Mic at Rodizzios. The club was nice and chilled, with musicians, comedians and even a ventroluquist (hope I spelt that right). Then the MC decides to walk straight to our table and ask me: 'Where are you from?' I was shocked, didn't think I stuck out that much but clearly I did. Then he asked me to tell him how to say 'I love you' in Afrikaans, OMW! But all in all, it was a great evening!

The first night we went to this club on Victoria Island which is where we stayed, ah-mazing! Very posh, similar to Taboo in Sandton, yet around 2, a guy came and was walking around playing a drum along with the songs, *Priceless!*

Our friends in Lagos made us feel really welcome, and their hospitality was absolutely amazing. I can now share with my fellow S.Africans that not all people from Nigeria are the same, just like not all South Africans are xenophobic. It felt good to spend a weekend with young people who are so far from home but quite similar to us, what binds us is definitely greater than what separates us.

I remember seeing a lady with a t-shirt written: I've Been Naija'd. That's definitely me! I loved Lagos and the next time I go I'd love to spend more time and see more of the sites.

 

You Never Know...

You never know when someone

might catch a dream from you.

 Or something you say may open up the windows
of a mind that seeks light;

 The way you live may not matter at all,
But you never know, it might.

And just in case it could be
that another's life, through you,

 might possibly change for the better
with a better and brighter view,

It seems it might be worth a try
at pointing the way to the right;

 Of course, it may not matter at all,
but then again, it might.
-unknown

Top 20 Highlights about Ghana

1. Finally getting to travel Africa with a friend, had an awesome time with my girl Vumi and got to see her view of my beloved Mother Africa. I've often said that Africa seems like my secret lover, I always tell friends how great he is but I still worry that when they meet him they won't see the magic that has me head-over-heels. I can safely say, she saw what it is that has me so in love :)

2. Staying with Cornelius's family, there's always something so valuable about being exposed to families and seeing how they live their lives (as opposed to being at a hotel, after the first 100 hotels, they all feel the same).

3. Meeting Nati. She is a white German lady who was working at one of the hospitals in Accra and staying at the same house as me. My first morning in Accra she made me breakfast and a cup of coffee, such a sweet gesture. Finding out that she takes a bicycle to work each day really touched me, it's cool how she totally embraced the environment.

4. The weather. I absolutely loved the weather in Accra. After leaving what felt like a never-ending winter in Jo'burg, I felt like the warmth in Accra was giving me a much needed hug. It wasn't too hot, just warm enough to make me smile.

5. Meeting Michael. It was incredible to spend hours with a fellow young youth leader who is absolutely devoted to this continent. His experience, humility and the fun we had really made my trip more worthwhile. It felt like meeting a twin-soul.

6. Jollof rice. I loooved it from the first taste! I've always been a fan of spicy food and in Accra I was in heaven! The food was absolutely divine and the rice is my favourite by far :)

7. Tro-Tros (known as taxis in SA). The transport system was very efficient and I loved the taxi rank experiences. Seeing women balancing products on their heads and not to mention the people who would come into the taxi and perform impromptu 'informercials' on their products, sharing the benefits and how lucky you'd be if you got your hands on their products. #Priceless!

8. Labadi Beach Hotel. Vu stayed here for the first 4 days, it was such a pleasure to contrast the 5-star experience and also the real world. From the service, to the food and their super-fast internet at the business centre, I'd highly recommend the place!

9. The entrepreneurial spirit. Everyone in Accra is an entrepreneur! I remember mentioning that I could do all my shopping in rush-hour traffic. From jumper cables, to Scrabble, to onions, to toys, to chocolates to ornaments... It's all there!

10. Ghanaians are VERY religious. I was not prepared for the level of religion that is entrenched in the society. From messages on taxis/cars/busses to the various businesses with Christian names and even this one juice (saw it on a billboard) called Hallelujah.God is definitely a large part of the culture.

11. This wasn't actually about Ghana, but I got to watch a Zulu movie on the plane to Accra. I thought that was pretty awesome. The new planes have a personalised selection where you can choose from movies/series/music/games. Listening to Loliwe as we crossed the Atlantic was pretty cool as well.

12. Getting on a horse on the beach. I don't think I've actually ever been on a horse in my entire life (I can't even ride a bicycle), that was super-cool!

13. Seeing all the dedications to the late president John Atta Mills. Even when we went to Cape Coast, it really felt like the whole country was in mourning for their leader. They even had black and red wrapping on the trees as a symbol that the country was in mourning. I was touched.

14. The reggae beach party. That was in a league of it's own! Being surrounded by rastas, dancing to Bob Marley tracks and just going with the flow...

15. Meeting the president of the IPF party's youth league from Ivory Coast. The highlight of meeting him actually includes others, like how surprising it was to see how much of a sense of humour he has (for someone who's in exile and his country is in turmoil). I can remember a number of GPY moments when I was around him.

16. Bonding with Cornelius's mom. We took a trip to Amasaman together and she stayed with me as I was headed to Bujumbura, I really enjoyed the conversation. On one of the nights, she shared with Vumi and I the various foods available in Ghana and we had yam together. Such a cool lady.

17. My trip to the refugee camp, the trip itself (which included lots of drama with passengers and the driver, and how he just stopped the taxi at some point and went for a walk, leaving us for a good 15 minutes). And getting to the camp. I expected sad, distraught people but when I got there, I found a lot of young people doing the best they can in a tough situation, and a number of 'couples' which was a shock for me and a lot of budding entrepreneurs with shops and stalls, trying to make some money.

18. The people. I loved the kindness and friendliness of Ghanaians. Especially when people heard that  I was from SA, they were always more than willing to help and make sure that my stay was comfortable. That definitely made me feel at home.

19. Going to Cape Coast Castle. The real truth about the slave trade was very emotional for me, but the honesty of it all and how I felt when I realised the role played by fellow Africans, it was heartbreaking yet quite enlightening. Similar to the time when I went to the genocide memorial in Rwanda, I was shocked at the cruelty of human nature. Yet the world is still filled with so much goodness and kindness and beauty, the contrast is amazing...

 

20. The kids. I'm such a sucker for children. I sooo loved coming home and having Hepzibah run up to me and give me a hug whilst screaming: 'Aunty Amanda!' I've never seen my self as particularly maternal, but I so do enjoy the amazing love and acceptance that children show. It's truly a universal attribute...

A Summary of West Africa (2012 Trip)

I came home to the news of the passing of a dear newly found friend. Suddenly so much has shifted. The plan was to share how amazing the trip was, how much fun we had and how much I learnt. But as I sit here now, this is my truth. Life is dear and it is short. Those who shine brightest, too often leave us too soon. To summarise, I felt at home in West Africa, I was embraced by many beautiful friends and surrounded by incredible favour. I'm busy preparing a list of the top 'Wow' moments from my trip and when I'm done I will share them on the blog, yet for now so much of what seemed so important just hours ago, feels insignificant. The few things that remain are the ones that I am now able to feel...

There's this thing about Knowing. When you know you know, you know. Lagos was beyond anything I could have imagined, the madness, the noise, the rush, the grandeur, the energy... the pulse! I saw in that grungy *bad-ass* city, a reflection of me. So many flaws, yet so much achievement and even more hope. I can't begin to describe what it felt like to hear that people have to figure out how they get electricity, their own water and how those in power are only known for taking from the poor to fill their already bulging wallets. I cannot judge, but I can understand. I am in awe of the spirit of Nigerians. People who don't wait for a saviour, but become their own saviours in a dog-eat-dog world. I could relate to that animal instinct, that need to survive no matter what it takes. When you know that you're not meant to live as a slave/peasant, everything within you gives you what you need to survive.

Yesterday I visited Cape Coast in Ghana, and went to Cape Castle. A world renowned slave trading centre for centuries. The triangular trade model had me totally baffled. Europe traded cheap jewellery, rum and weapons with Africa in return for slaves, which were then sold to the Americas for raw materials, which were then processed in Europe for re-sale to the globe. It left such a bitter taste in my mouth to know that Africans sold their own for alcohol, weapons and cheap jewellery? When we were the richest in minerals and resources. As we walked through the dungeons of the slave trade centre, I remember telling my friend Vumi, it's not those who executed this plot that are monsters, but the man who designed this castle so efficiently for it to carry out such monstrocities. The saddest part was hearing that above the largest dungeon there was a church. So, whilst people were dying from malnutrition and mistreatment, above them people were worshipping. I agree with the guide when he said: 'There's never been a cleared depiction of heaven above, and hell below.'

As an advocate for this continent, I always believe in sharing the endless possibilities that abound in Africa. We have hard working people, beautiful landscapes and numerous natural resources. But it would be a shame to not be honest about the truth of what Africa is really like and what these strong and beautiful black people have been through. I'm proud to be African, there's no where else I'd rather be from, yet as a writer, I need to allow the truth to speak for itself.

Accra Nights

At sunset we took a walk on the beach. Of all the subjects, the topic was philosophy. Is there a God? What is love? Is passion a good or bad thing? What do you love? Just among some of the things we had on our minds. It's strange how life brings like-minded souls together. Tonight I spent hours with someone for whom it's taking all they have, to hang on for all they love. How scary is that, twin souls maybe, lost souls likely? We found ourselves imprisoned in each others space, savouring a moment, daring to be open and honest about our reality. This world is a harsh, cruel place. With beautiful strong people, I am blessed to have been where I was tonight, and I am even more in awe of the company I shared...

That is where I become you...(Women's Month Dedication)

Where you have nothing left to give, yet give it with all your heart...
Where he's lied and you know it's a lie but you stay...
Where one more try was a thousand tries ago...
That's where I become you.

Where you dance and lean into ecstatic melodies only known by you...
Where it's all sunshine and rainbows and your heart is full...
Where it's all as it should be and you're finally loved...
That's where I become you.

Where what you give is more than what you should, yet not enough...
Where all you wanna do is say 'I'm done, I'm out' yet you stay...
Where all you are is just misunderstoood and judged...
That's where I become you.

Where North becomes South, Love becomes Hate becomes love...
Where forever becomes never, where just once becomes 'til death us do part...
Where in-and-out of time becomes too much of a commitment to fulfil...
That's where I become you.

I become you when I see you in your glorious splendour,
I become you when I walk with you in your deepest and darkest shame,
I become you when you are both too much and not enough...
That's where I become you.

When we were born, the first word used was..."It's a girl"
I am you, when I'm in my most honest place...
That's where I become you.

The Proverbs 31 Woman... Wow!

Happy Women's Month ladies :)

Be (Author Unknown)

"Do not travel along your path, be your path. Do not search out your journey, be your journey. The universe is waiting to show you the way, you already have the map.We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through.Our purpose is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love, and then we return home”

He heals me.... By India Arie

HE HEALS ME

I told him my biggest secret
And he told me four
He smiled at me and said
That makes me love you more

And then he made me laugh
And I knew it was a sign
That he was a man
That I wanted in my life
And with every passing day
I feel more and more of that way

He heals me, he knows the real me
And he accepts me, he never hurts me
He heals me, he knows the real me

And he accepts me, he never hurts me
He heals me, he heals me
I can play him songs all through the night
And he will listen to every line
And even when I'm wrong, he is still kind
He chooses his words wisely
When he tells me I'm not right
And yes, he is a beautiful man
But he is also a beautiful friend

He heals me, he knows the real me
And he accepts me, he never hurts me, no

He heals me, he knows the real me
And he accepts me, he never hurts me
He heals me, he heals me

The moment that we met, he made me smile
He has so much compassion in his eyes
I have no idea, how long he'll be here
A season or a lifetime, forever or a year
But for the first time in my life
I'm not worried about the future
Because we have such
A wonderful time when we're together
However things turn out, it's all right
'Cause he's already changed my life

He heals me, he knows the real me
And he accepts me, he never hurts me
He heals me, he knows the real me

...and these are only some of the things I believe: by Staceyann Chin

I got this from my friend Flo this morning, it touched my heart!

Imagination is the bridge

between the things we know for sure

and the things we need to believe

when our worlds become unbearable

So I know the way my tongue feels

wrapped around a sliver of East Indian mango

I know it reminds me of a time of giant breadfruit trees

... skinned six year-old knees

and pungent pimento seeds drying on a sheet of galvanized zinc



I know the sounds I make during sex

know them because my lover makes them for me

when she wants to remind me that I am not always in control



I also know if you are black/ male and Mobile America

the police will pull you over- especially

if you drive an expensive car



I know if you speak differently from the rest of the crowd

chances are your contemporaries have already made fun of you



We all know this world is difficult

because we each have to live here

and in this time of schoolboy bullets

biological warfare and kiddie porn

it takes guts to believe in any God

so I practice on believing in the smaller things

till I am able to make room for the rest



I begin with believing there's a Santa Claus

except I believe Saint Nicholas is a holiday transvestite

and I believe in monsters lurking under the bed

because they give our children something to conquer

before the world begins to conquer them



And I believe in the steady inflation of the tooth fairy

donate more than one nickel to that cause

because a dime under a pillow makes it easier

to endure the loss of a molar

prepares for the greater loss of a teacher

or a mother to the NYPD



And I believe in the identity of the Easter Bunny

believe he's the same person as Bugs Bunny

which means being schizophrenic isn't always bad

means when I'm tired of being a black feminist poet

I could go rally for rights of the new age transsexuals

get them an interview with Rosie O'Donell or Oprah

I believe I could find them a few friends right there on Sesame Street

and contrary to popular belief

I believe Bert and Ernie are straight

believe they're just waiting for the right girls to come along

but I believe Kermit the Frog is a closet Dyke

and that's why he has issues with pushy lesbians like Miss Piggy



And I believe most lovers

will lie to you eventually

and though I believe two wrongs don't ever make a right

--sometimes slashing his tires makes you feel better



and I believe Dharma and Greg are funny

but only if they make you laugh

and I believe Pinky and the Brain are revolutionaries

because-every night-they try to take over the world

like them, I believe there will always be something to fight for

and I believe everyone should believe in something

anything - if it helps you make it through the day

so I believe in Ashanti spirits

in spite of what the pragmatists say

I believe in unbelievable phenomena

like telepathy and karmic shape-shifters

crafting futures from the moon

I believe in that elusive world peace

I believe if I believe - it really could come soon

and I believe in unexpected and capricious friendships

I believe in trusting with the tenacity of a fool



And I believe in believing everyday

-and for as long as we can-

I believe we should believe in something we don't know for sure

acknowledge the range of possibilities

unlimited by what we see

move reality with imagination

we decide what our destinies will be

My African Dream...

As it ought to be...

May the writers write, the thinkers think and the talkers talk.
May none dare go beyond their calling towards what is not theirs to do.

May the feelers feel, the artists creatively articulate truth, may leaders lead.

May the jokers joke, the builders build and most importantly, the lovers love.
The fate of Africa lies in our ability to love.

... Love ourselves, our ancestors as much as our great-grandchildren.
As love leads the way, may grace, forgiveness, favour welcome it,

May the truth become more potent than the lie, more powerful.
We have been the wretched of the earth for too long,
Have cried too many tears, have fought way too many wars.

My prayer is that we may we all recognise the true African dream,

Let the talkers talk, the thinkers think and the dreamers dream.

Talk honestly, reflectively and realistically about the real reason we are here.
Dream up a reality more beautiful than our glorious past or wildest Imaginings,
Think up a plan so solid that it will carry us safely into the promised land.

My only wish is that Africans realise their role in their own resurrection,
That they lay down their lives for their emancipation, that they love.

Love their legacy, their fellow man and their inevitable destiny,
Love discipline, love integrity and love their freedom enough to die for it.

But most importantly, that they love themselves enough to know their worth.

21 People I Admire

1. Lindani Mbali Mnyandu. She gets to go first because I see so much of myself in her. She taught me the lesson that it’s okay to be honest to you about you. She’s incredibly succesful, incredibly artistic but on a bad day, she’s okay with saying: ‘I’m not coping.’ It takes a strong person to do that.


2. Thabo Mbeki. Most of my close friends don’t believe I like him, but in all honesty I have a world of respect for the man. I’ve come to admire one single quality he has, having the balls to lead. One of the hardest parts of being a leader is going against your followers to take them where they Need to be, besides their objections.


3. Masoja Msiza. A powerful, honest and genuine artist. Masoja is able to make you laugh, allow you to reflect, bring tears to your eyes… all in the name of art. I have spent years in the company of this artist and his biggest lesson to me has been, Speak Your Truth! He does that beautifully and I love and admire him.


4. Dr Reuel Khoza, Chairman of Nedbank. I’ve engaged with the man on a personal level, one of the biggest influences to my becoming a Pan-Africanist lady with humility and swag on top. He’s written books, conquered the world and he still has time for little people like us to drink from his cup of wisdom. I was so proud of him the day I heard about his comment to the leadership of South Africa. That is one man who walks his talk, for that I admire him.


5. Msizi Khoza. I have never met someone so young, yet a true revolutionary. He never allowed anything to stand in the way of what he knows himself to be. A while back, I dubbed him Mr President. He is committed to excellence and leadership, and he is never afraid to speak his mind when the need arises. I look to him and I realise that in the hands of people like him, the future of Africa will be bright.


6. Thomas Sankara. Ex president of Burkina Faso, a young and focused man who took it upon himself to redefine the future of Africa. Sankara believed in good health, exercise and taking care of the whole being. He also walked the talk, realising that Africans had to be self-sufficient in order to get to where they need to be. Most importantly though, Sankara believed in the empowerment of women, seeing us as having a legitimate role to play in the future of society.


7. My Ugandan bus driver. I must confess I don’t know his name, but I met him on a 9 hour bus ride between Kampala in Uganda, headed for Kigali in Rwanda. A simple man who knew the principles of success who has informed a lot of my decisions since the day I met him. He taught me to be honest, to realise that Africa needs bold leaders, he taught me the importance of family and more often than not, to see that wisdom is not the privilege only available to the elite.


8. My mother. She recently said these words to me: ‘From a young age, I have always wanted to know what lies beyond the horizon, and I’ve gone out to search for it. I’ve never let fear stop me.’ That summarises this lady in the best way, my mother has always instilled in me this belief: Never fear what you do not know, rather learn what it has to teach you about yourself and embrace it!’


9. Ebo Quagraine. He most resembles Barack Obama in my life. Mr ‘Yes We Can’ himself. Ebo has always been the first to drive us to action. A fellow insomniac, he always works beyond the call of duty, believes passionately in the future of Mother Africa, and is always ready to do whatever it takes to raise our continent. I have learnt to love Africa, by seeing his love.


10. Sakhile Mthembu. A twin-soul friend of mine, who taught me to appreciate and value art. Most contemporary artists believe in being commercial but he blessed me with an ear for music. We would leave a party of house music, drive home listening to Corrine Bailey Rae. I learnt to love the art, and to love the truth about what makes music change lives. Kindness is another lesson he taught me, kindness to the self, and more importantly to the harsh & cruel world.


11. Don Ndaba. My first gay friend. I have lived in the shadows of my friend for years and learnt to see the plight of gay people. He never chose his sexual orientation, he never wanted the judgement it came with, but as a man of honour and truth, he has carried the burden it brings. The persecution he’s had to endure has often brought me to tears, but I have loved his brightness, his positive spirit and his ability to shine.


12. Nehemiah. I am in no ways religious, I believe religion is a useful tool that can entrench in most societies a much-needed sense of morality and godliness (whoever we may consider God to be) but I refuse to be labelled religious. Nehemiah was a servant to the King who dared defy the odds and took on the task to restore the glory of Jerusalem. A lot can be learnt from his bravery, his boldness, his sense of duty and commitment to his people. His love is what I admire most, his love for those who needed him.


13. Smangele Linah Mabhida. A strong woman who had to live behind the scenes whilst taking care of her family whilst her legendary husband Moses Mabhida was in exile. Her contentment with being in the background, doing the daily chores whilst her husband was admired and fighting for our country. She is the ultimate heroine and her humility is what I admire most.


14. Katt Williams. I’m short, he’s short and we have a short people thing. Katt is a social commentator behind all of his comedy, he often comments on the need to respect women and to be proud of your roots as a black person. I admire how comedians can teach us important truths that we may not realise or acknowledge.


15. Cambridge Mokanyane. He was the head of the top 2010 world cup campaign according to FIFA, run by MTN. In the time I’ve known the man, I’ve realised how exceptionally brilliant he is. He feels his way through life, is able to drive excellence based on instinct and has always excelled. Excellence is a choice, and he’s always made the right one. From St Albans, to Unilever, to SAB, to MTN and to sport. As a fellow marketer, he taught me the golden rule to marketing: Delight The Consumer!


16. Winnie Mandela. She’s bad ass, and beautiful. Similar to Mam’ Mabhida, she had to do the best in an exceptionally difficult situation, she carried the role like a soldier and dared to speak out against all the atrocities of the era. I also like that she’s not squeaky clean. Angels rarely make history.


17. Lady Diana. Brenda Fassie. Lebo Mathosa. The world tends to dictate how we should be as women and these women refused to be reduced to other people’s perceptions. They excelled, lived and died as heroines.


18. Shaka Zulu. The man was a genius, very strategic and very resilient. He loved hard and he built something great that we’re still proud of to this day. Like him, I’d love to live forever through my achievements.


19. Flo Mokale. The ultimate artist. Give him a word, he’ll give you poetry, give him a camera he will make beautiful art, give him a stage he’ll bring tears to your eyes. I have been in awe of Flo for many years and underneath all of that, he’s incredibly funny. The best people in life have a great sense of humour.


20. Farah Hukamdad, my ex boss. She’s young at heart, and she lives straight from it. She gets excited, passionate, angry, delighted. There’s nothing mediocre about her. I never want to lose my passion for life, just like her I want to honour my heart every day that I live.


21. Slindile Didiza. I had to save the best for last. When I love someone, I find it hard to summarise my admiration for them. Sli and I have been friends for almost a decade. She has all the combinations of a heroine. Immense strength, humility and the ability to be graceful through the storm. I love her ability to love, think and process things before bringing emotions into it all, she’s taught me to be graceful through the storms of life, a lesson I really needed to learn.

Sanskrit Mantra

Step by step

At every step
There lies waiting...
Quite still
That which is appropriate to THAT step

Celebrating A Friend's Life

 

 

When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter.

As you see him you will see yourself.
As you treat him you will treat yourself.
As you think of him you will think of yourself.
Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself, or lose yourself.
~ Acim

An Afrikaans guy named Peter

On Wednesday I had the most incredible conversation with a 69 year old Afrikaans guy. His name is Peter. We were discussing politics, family, what our country needs and for the most part, who we are. I don't know who first came up with this quote, but our conversation made me think of it "One of the problems with society is that too often blacks and whites overestimate the others desire to do them harm."  He was very honest about how apartheid worked in his favour, interestingly enough he grew up on one of the farms in KZN near my grandmothers house. I was there this December and driving past all the farms I couldn't help but think of Malema's nationalisation ideas. The Dlamini family has been living in that area for more than 100 years, but the farmland is still owned by white people. Back to Peter. He found me at this restaurant reading Mbeki's A Dream Deferred and asked if he could take a seat at my table. Immediately after he sat down we got to chatting. He asked me what I thought of the book and told me about Macintosh Polela's book, I should definitely get a copy. A very interesting thing that Peter said was that he thinks Malema's has a great skill of influencing people. If he only had the guidance and direction. He could be an influential driver to inspire young people to take control for their lives. I was touched when he shared with me the story of his sons suicide. It was a heart-breaking story that showed his humanity and vulnerability. More so when he spoke of how his other children and brother have left the continent. When he'd first sat down all I'd seen was a white old man, but as he said farewell I was touched by how little I often consider the "humanity" of those we see as white and privileged. The highlight of my day was when, as he walked away,Peter said: "Amanda, we need more people like you in this country."