2 days before we close this year, I'm in awe of the year it's been. At my 21st Birthday my mom sang the song "Ungithatha la, angibeke la..." and that could easily sum up 2015.
A few thoughts and reflections on this year:
1) It takes years to become an overnight success. The darkest clouds do indeed have a silver lining, even a golden one at times. I feel like I'd spent so many months enduring, surviving and praying that I had forgotten that there was a point to all the struggling. When we get used to striving and failure, picking ourselves up and trying again (over and over and over), reaching the mountain top comes as a surprise. A welcome surprise, don't get me wrong, a surprise one feels that they have earned, but a surprise nonetheless.
2) Levels. Each level has its own interesting dilemmas. But there is a certain humility that is a prerequisite before reaching the next level. And succeeding on one level is not a guarantee that your whole life will now be free of all its dramas.
**Side-Note: I am curious about which aspect of my life would be considered the "Success of 2015". The engagement, publishing my book, my career progression or regaining my sanity. For me, the outward successes are a phenomenal gain, but finding my inner balance and peace is the best thing about this year.
3) I'm not allowed to get excited yet. One of my favorite DJ Sbu quotes: "Always keep the main thing the main thing." 2015 saw lots of steps in the right direction but the main goal is still a long way away. The main thing is not stardom or impressive check-ins with important people, or even (one of my greatest Achilles heels) being liked. The main thing is The Main Thing.
4) Silence is a song. This is one of my favorite Lizz Wright songs, and it's been the soundtrack to my life for a number of years. I spent my year (especially at work) trying to be as quiet, as invisible as possible. For a number of very valid reasons (I was out of my depth, i needed to listen and learn, and also not outshine the stars of the show), but also because I needed to regain my inner rhythm. There's something that Oprah once spoke about in her Masterclass, being in-flow with the rhythm of your life and your purpose. There's nothing worse than outward success coupled with inner turmoil. So the silence was also about getting in tune with my inner rhythm.
5) The God factor. Every year God and I have a new, unique dimension added to our relationship. 2015 was the year of Gratitude. Before I give you one more thing, look around you and see how much you already have. How much I've already given you. I developed the habit of daily gratitude prayers. Every night, thanking God for what I am grateful for on that day. The results have been astounding.
6) Where do you end, where do I begin. In 2015 I was constantly confronted by how much I need boundaries. As a mother, I'm realizing that as much as I feel profoundly blessed to be a mother, I am not only a mother. The same is true for my role as a friend. When I was younger I cherished being a hero in my friendships. As I grow older, I find that I can no longer be responsible for the decisions adults make about how to live their lives. Love does have its boundaries, and in 2015 I learnt to ask the question: "To what extent am I responsible for another human being?" For my son, the answer is: A lot. For others, only as much as I want to. Nothing more.
7) Let Life Take Your Breath Away. This life thing, it has so many wonderful mysteries yet to be uncovered, millions of joyful moments yet to be enjoyed, and so much peace, yet to be lived out.
8) Follow Your Crazy. That's the theme for my life, every year no matter what hardships I face, I still firmly believe in following my true nature. Embracing my crazy, and being unapologetic about being me.
9) Opposites attract. He values peace, enjoys excitement. I'm a fiery ball of energy, who needs peace. It works. We work.
10) The best parts of life never make it into social media platforms. #TrueStory
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