I recently had an interesting chat over wine with my girl friends. The topic turned to 'the men in Jo'burg', as usual I'm forever harping on about how great Zulu men are, but this time around I took the time to listen. One of the more interesting insights for the night was that Jo'burg has three types of men.
1) The hustler/mrapper/poet/next big thing. These guys are charming, fun, engaging... and broke. For those who still remember the track 'Bills, bills, bills', or 'No scrubs', that's the man they're talking about.
2) BEE, he's got zero charm, no sex appeal and he talks about tenders and uses lots of big words. He'll take you to Trumps and shopping at Hyde Park but then you'll have to endure him touching you with his greasy sweaty hands...
3) Then there's the cream of the crop. The celebs. They party hard, get high, attract women like flies and with everything that they do, it's all about bling. I'm famous, rich and I can do whatever I want.... Not for the faint hearted/easily heart-broken.
Of course there are those somewhere in between, but for the most part, if you're into the Jo'burg party scene, you come across each of the three on a daily basis and you just have to figure out which type you can deal with.
As the conversation wore on, we debated which was the better evil, the broke *ss, the BEE or the celeb. My taste has often led me to the first type. I don't consider myself materialistic so I've always gone for charmers. But between my mom and my friends, I've heard enough 'Yin' uthanda oskhotheni' speeches, but hey different strokes for different folks.
The arguement turned to BEE's. In their defence, it was said that as ugly as he might be, he can give you any, and I mean ANYthing that you want (images of what we owe on our credit cards made this quite an appealing proposition)& some of them are really nice people and hey if Khanyi can do it, why can't the rest of us.
This is where I take a pause. I think that it's so sad how these men sell themselves short. You look at these 30 Something men chasing varsity kids around clubs and you have to wonder why they do this to themselves, only to be used for free drinks and ditched for the 'Bills, bills, bills' dude at the end of the night. Whenever I see this, I just have to wonder how a self-respecting intelligent man can put himself through this. I see these BEE men, they must be intelligent to have become so succesful but how little do you need to value yourself if the only company you can get is with young women whom you know For Sure wouldn't give you a second look if you didn't have money. The ironic thing though is that men complain about gold-diggers but the way they act attracts these types of women. If I'm boasting about the 5million deal I just made, it means that I want to attract a woman for whom that is important.
I'm going to go back to the money thing again, why are we chasing it, why does it mean so much. I see people who can only talk about my car, my mansion, my fat bank account and I wonder who would you be if all this was taken away. What defines you, what excites you (besides money), what makes your heart skip a beat. Surely the *ss you get from these girls can't be enough to make you really happy.
In my day I've had some interesting friends, and when you see how women talk about things like being with a man because: 'he will take care of me, he'll pay for my car, he'll pay for my trip overseas', I envy their chutzpah, they aren't the ones being used, they're doing the using. Personally I don't believe in all that stuff, but an evening of wine and conversation left me with a whole lot to think about!
But then the conversation moved on to the celebs, not to incriminate anyone but
(Facebook has deactivated the Notes feature and when I attempted to recover my Notes, some of them were incomplete. This was one of those)
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