Dedicated To All My Married Friends (FB Note 2012)

 

(Coming across this poem now that I'm married, just blew me away! LMAO!)

Once upon a time…

 

Once upon a time, I let you win,

I let my youth, my insecurity let you be.

He is mine, he always was, but once upon a time…

 

Once upon a time I let you win.

I let you take what was mine and I didn’t fight you.

That was the rightful way to be, that’s what a lady does…

 

Once upon a time I tasted heaven,

Lived out all my dreams combined in his kiss,

But my youth and my morality had to let you win…

 

I’m a lady, I don’t speak too loudly or lose my cool,

But those many years ago, I wished that I was not, just a little,

Just so you could maybe appreciate what you had.

A real man.

 

But so much stood in my way and I let you win.

 

Once upon a time, I was the other woman,

The dirty old mistress who didn’t have rights to his heart,

The side-piece who only got your leftovers,

 

Once upon a time I was the other woman.

 

But today is a different story, today I’m a different person,

I know myself all too well, and I know exactly what it is that I want.

 

Once upon a time, I wasn’t ready to die for my dreams,

But unfortunately for both of us, today I am. I honestly truly am,

And no matter what it takes, I will win.

 

Owami, ngiyamthanda, ngizomfela if you don’t realise what you have,

A good, honest, gentle, humble, faithful and honest man.

You have to decide because even as I write this, akayena owami,

 

But asizile ukuzodla la, we are both women and we both need love,

Mina engik’shoyo kuwena dadewethu is that, unless you realise it,

Uzolahlakelwa izulu nomhlaba ngoba ungazibon’ indlela obusiseke ngayo,

 

I am in no ways a predator, I’m just a simple woman,

I love, I need to also be loved and appreciated in return.

 

Because once upon a time, I was the other woman.

A dirty little secret, the favourite ‘secret’ part of his day,

But that was not how my mother raised me, I am worthy of love.

 

But once upon a time, I was the other woman,

But today, today I’ve got my foot firmly in the door,

And unlike you, I’m not about to let a very good man go,

 

Once upon a time, I was the other woman,

 

But today, today I want to be you.

I want to be a wife, I want to be the one he adores.

I want to be the one he loves more than his own happiness.

 

 

Once upon a time I was the other woman,

I know what it feels like to spend Christmas alone,

Because the nagging wife and kids need him there,

 

Today I want to surprise him on his birthday,

To have rights, no longer be the fun dirty little secret,

I want to be you,

 

At any point, if you let your guard down, slip,

I’ll be there. Beautiful, smart, well groomed, available.

And I will, if you let me, take what’s yours without a thought.

 

Once upon a time I was the other woman,

I know the loneliness, I know the rush followed by humiliation,

It's lonely, it's hard, it's cold and it's never enough for any real woman,

I for one should know, coz once upon a time...

I was once after all, the other woman.

 

MaDlamini's Reflections on 2011 - FB Note

2011, Wow! If this year was a man, I wouldn't know whether I wanna kiss him or slap him.

 

Over the last 4 years this has become a bit of a tradition. At the end of each year I sit down, reflect and really evaluate what the year has meant to me.

 

This year, I'd say was definitely a year of surprises. When it started I decided (as so did half the world) that it was 2000 & Elevate. I was going to go to new heights, in any and every way.

 

But the interesting thing is, the year on it's own accord, elevated me  in ways I never could have chosen for myself. To new levels of achievement, of surprise, of pain, of spirituality, of love, of excellence, of failure and of me.

 

Starting with 2010, that year was the bomb! I bought a house, the convertible, got engaged, learnt to live without *****, it was Wow!

 

So, in terms of material things, and things that the outside world deems important, I started the year on a good note.

 

But then all hell broke loose, literally. In the first 6 months, my engagement went down the drain, I got into major debt, my sister died, I went back to *****, toothache, I broke up with a very good (female) friend, (not particularly in that order, yet all equally devastating!).

 

Death, I would say was a central theme in 2011. Firstly my sister and then my girl Lindiwe. With both of them I was shocked by the emotions that came with the loss. They were there, and whilst they were there I didn't give much thought to how much they meant to me, but when they were not there, I suddenly realised how much I loved/needed/enjoyed having them in my life.

 

The other theme was on the 'God-tip'. In 2011, God did not whisper he spoke clearly, and sometimes too clearly. I'll leave it there, for fear of seeming well... weird or crazy. But in 2011 God revealed himself to me as an artist.

 

The mysterious ***** is a big one. I called it Operation Shiy' Iscefe. Having finally achieved it, I am grateful but the battle was long and hard. This year I read Sun Tzu's Art of War, self-mastery is essential for any leader.

 

That leads me to the next key realisation of 2011. This is the year (for the first time in my life) I spent my own money on education. Firstly with the GIBS course on Leadership and then UNISA on African Leadership. So, this year I decided, I'm a leader. My behaviour, my attitude and my legacy all need to reflect that. Both courses were incredible, I learnt and grew in so many ways. The most amazing part was the affirmation of what I'd already learnt in the 26 years I've lived.

 

Then there was East Africa. 3 reasons I took the trip: 1) I needed a way to spend the wedding money after breaking off the engagement, (2) I had unfinished business with Ethiopia & (3) I love Mother Africa. The trip was worth more than all the learning I got from 3 years of university! I learnt so much about people, about the meaning of life and mostly about me, and where I fit in to the bigger scheme of things.

 

I'm smiling as I think of the next point. Each year of my life, people come in and out of my life. This year I met the craziest, most intelligent, happiest, most innocent person ever! My dear house-mate is by far one of the biggest highlights of my year. 6/10 LOL's I've had in 2011 were due to him. He taught me to play the piano, is constantly reminding me of who I am and was there to bear witness to my existence. I am blessed,

 

Every year I learn something new about family. When my sister passed,  I realised the various dynamics within my family. The changing role I have amongst my siblings, at the funeral I was the youngest but they insisted I should speak on behalf of them, I found that intriguing. My other sister and I, how we've bonded as the year has gone by, my brother getting married and how amazing that was, it's all fascinating.

 

I didn't think I'd be mentioning the next point, but in 2011 I came across Judas. I got to befriend hm, understand him and accept the role he has to play in my life.

 

My relationship with my mother is always an interesting one, this year we started relating woman-to-woman, it was all quite weird at first but so rich and fulfilling at the end. My mom called me her best-friend this year, that is officially the best compliment I've ever received in my entire life.

 

My engagement, that's a tough one to discuss I must admit. From the beginning I never felt like I was in charge, so even now I feel like it's all part of a 'master-plan' that's bigger than me.But in everything I'm thankful and grateful for the love that was, and still is...

 

One of the biggest surprises for me in 2011 was starting my own company, I never would've thought I'd be a director and shareholder at 26, but God has been faithful.

 

In 2011, various people have come in and out of my life. Those who'd always been there have taken on new roles and in all honesty, I'm blessed that they have. I see the love, the growth, the elevation and I'm in awe of God's artistic hand on my life. I wouldn't change a single thing about how 2011 has panned out.

 

I have deliberately left out a significant part of my reflections on 2011, to the person that this relates to... No-homo. 

The Fresh Grave Dilemma

 There’s nothing left to do,

Funeral’s over, the mourners have left,

The last chunk of sand has been thrown,

Time to make the journey back home,

Without you.

 

I’m looking at this fresh grave,

The place you now call home,

I’m looking at the beautiful flowers,

The great view you’ve got of the hills,

It’s time for me to go,

Without you.

 

Tomorrow, work deadlines will be due,

I’ll have to remember to pay the light bill,

Go see the dentist, do the laundry,

I’ve got to complete my school assignment,

Go buy a gift for the wedding,

Without you.

 

My life has to go on, I know you’d want me to.

But sitting next to this fresh grave,

After everyone’s gone away.

It’s just me, the howling wind and somewhere down there,

All that’s left of you.

 

I wanna do justice to your memory,

Feel every ache, cry every last tear.

I want you to know that I did love you,

I Still do, miss you like you crazy.

I want you to know it’s not the same,

Without you.

 

The fresh grave dilemma is that it all needs to go on,

The sun still has to rise tomorrow,

I’ve still got to get up and live,

Move on, without you.

 

In my morning prayers I list all my siblings,

I now have to remember to remove you,

When someone asks me about myself,

I have to remember to now say, I’m one of 6,

When I come home I have to remember,

You’re not ever going to be there again.

 

I have to remember, I have to remember,

I have to remember. But I also have to forget.\\

.

It's a new week, to some, this might be time to be 'getting over it' and not dragging this sad dead sister story too long, I'm sorry for those who feel uncomfortable, but this is where my spirit is right now, I've never claimed to be an entertainer with my writing. I write what I feel and today, this is what I feel. I have to remember.

.

The fresh grave dilemma condemns my spirit for thinking of mediocre things like the laundry, the dentist appointment. She's only been gone 6 days, the dust is yet to settle. But the fresh grave also screams, let me go. It's over, I'm over. My sister never liked being fussed over, 4 days. That's all it took. She was well my whole life, then was in hospital for just 4 days, after that she was gone. I'm overwhelmed by the dilemma. Does loving you mean I stay sad, hurting, crying and mourning, or does loving you mean I move on. This is my dilemma.

.

There's Nothing More Beautiful Than Death - In Memory of My Sister (2011 FB Note)

 “I am breathing through an ache in my chest that feels like it will split me open. The term “sucking wound” comes to mind as many breaths are gasping, struggling, wet with tears. It feels like there is a gaping hole in my chest.”                       ~Oriah~

 

In the TV series Lie To Me the doctor mentions that the best way to get the truth from people is to put them in extreme pain. That’s why torture is such an effective tactic. When you’re hurting, you’ve only got enough room for the pain and the truth.

 

It hurts. It hurts in a way I didn’t expect it to, and if I’m honest, in a way that it shouldn’t have to.

 

I’ve got very unique relationships with each of my 6 siblings. I love them all equally, but what I share with each of them is worlds apart. She was the oldest, I’ve always (until recently) been the youngest. She came first, I came last.  I loved how she never treated me like the kid, she was the only one in the whole group who didn’t treat me like I was built to break or fragile. When I was with her, I always felt like we were the only sane ones in the whole wild bunch. We’d sit together in bed on many nights, discussing the dynamics of our siblings. The one tries too hard, the other one drinks too much, the other one sucks up, the other one uses money to gain our fathers love. We’d sit and laugh about it together, in our own private moments. She would tell me about what pissed her off that we did, she was never a fighter so she’d never say it out loud. I laugh when I remember how we used to be entertained by the women that came in and out of our father’s life. There were the possessive ones, the crazy ones, the spiritual ones and the ones who would use us to gain favour with our dad.

 

Outside of that though, we were always very different. Different in the sense that she never felt the need to get people to like her, I on the other hand, always tried too hard to be everyone’s best friend. She never had anything to prove, if she wasn’t your cup of tea, you’d just have to get over yourself.

 

I remember the day I drove over someone with my car. The scariest, craziest moment of my life! I couldn’t call my dad or anyone else but I decided to call her. As always, she was calm and like a soldier, she handled it. She went to the family, gave the ‘victim’ medication, and when they tried to blackmail me, my dear sister told her where the hell to get off.

There’s another occasion, way back in high-school when I was in trouble and my dad was ready to have my head on a plate. I knew I was wrong, but she didn’t for a second make me feel bad about it, she had my back like any big sister would.

 

My sister wasn’t a woman of many words, she had a dry sense of humour and she was quite content in the silent moments. I liked that.

 

The last time I saw my sister was just after Christmas. I went to her brand new house, we sat drinking Coke and eating Choice Assorted biscuits. Nothing about it felt final. The beautiful thing about death is that it takes away all of the things that aren’t real. Only love and pain remain.

 

Today the pain is most certainly like a gaping hole in my chest. Oriah says it more eloquently than me when she says: Grief is as kind as it can be, coming in waves instead of all at once- surely a flood that would drown. It’s hard to predict when the next wave will hit. I miscalculate and have to abandon a shopping cart in the middle of the cereal aisle at the supermarket to dash for home and lay down on the cool white tiles of the bathroom floor.

  

I miss you, but I can still feel your spirit so near to me. We shared something that not even death can take away. Rest in peace Big Sister, you are and will always be a part of me.

 

Love Always,

 

16th of March 2009 (Poem)

 Tomorrow will be two years later,

 

Tomorrow will be two years since that terrible fateful day,

Tomorrow will be two years since you left us.

 

I cannot imagine the idea of you not being here anymore,

You're honestly, really, seriously gone.

 

I remember the moment  Ifound out.

My first thought was: Oh My God, How Dare You?!

 

I couldn't imagine the idea of you not being there,

Through it all, I did admire the lady in you.

 

Your smile, your laughter, your bright shining eyes,

They all dissapeared on the 16th of March 2009,

 

You're really gone.

 

I was not a friend, I didn't even like you most of the time,

But even I cannot deny that you were, and are, a beautiful lady.

 

So much has happened since that day, so very much.

You left this cruel, young world, lucky you.

 

But those of us who remain, we're here through it all.

 

Last week we saw Japan dissapear under the Tsunami,

Last month we saw Libya commit suicide as its people killed one another.

 

You are gone, you are in a much better and more beautiful place.

Lucky you. You who never had to see how worse it got after you left.

 

Dear beautiful lady, I don't even have a right to write this,

But in my heart I know, we both know what our truth was and still is,

 

We both loved and still continue to love in the same way,

You were beautiful, you were a shining light, and my dear...

 

Even today, two years later, you are missed. 

What Defines Class - 2010 FB Note

 •Layer one - Wealth

•Layer two - Lineage

•Layer three - Memberships

•Layer four - Education

•Layer five - Arts

•Layer six - Social savvy

•Layer seven - Political clout

•Layer eight - Travel sophistication

•Layer nine - Sports

•Layer ten - Values

•Layer eleven - Achievement

•Layer twelve - Hobbies

•Layer thirteen - Philanthropy

•Layer fourteen - Manners and Self care

•Layer fifteen - Having A good command of Languages

•Layer Sixteen - A Refined Accent

(Not my handwriting)

What 2010 Taught Me

 Today will surely go down in history is one of the most important days of my life. Definitely one that I will not soon forget. I can’t help but reflect on 20-My-Turn and just what it is that this year has meant for me and those closest to me. Last night one of my friends said something that I found to be quite amazing. We were talking about the great things that happen in people’s lives and how we often wonder when our turn is coming. She said: ‘Whenever something amazing happens to someone in my life, instead of getting jealous I find myself inspired and thinking, there’s enough happiness to go around. My turn is coming...’ That I found quite inspiring, and I once again found myself feeling thankful for the wonderful women that I am blessed be surrounded by.

 

But the point of this I guess was to take a look at 2010 and just find 5 things that this year has taught me. If I were to summarise it all, these would top the list:

 

1)      I guess more than anything else, for me 2010 was the year of letting go. As I look around me so much of what defined my life when this year started is no longer here, (car, job, relationships, dreadlocks, home) and as painful as the loss was at times, I had to let so much go in order to make space for all the blessing that has come my way. As the saying goes, Let go & Let God. I learnt to let go (sometimes kicking and screaming) but at the end of the day, it was the best thing for me to have done and as God began to bless me, I was amazed at how much of what I held dear, actually didn’t fit into where my life is headed.

 

2)      The second thing that 2010 taught me was the importance of knowing what you’re worth. Most people who know me know that I love keeping the peace, (my best friend who’s known me for 12 years once said that she’s actually never seen me angry, how funny is that!) and that is very often at the expense of my own needs. But in 2010 I found a voice I never thought I had, I learnt to not settle for mediocrity and make it clear that some things aren’t acceptable.  That was terrifying, but also very liberating.

 

3)      The third lesson that 2010 had for me was how to be silent. Another great friend of mine was getting advice on marriage and one of the best pieces of advice she got was: ‘Silence is the language of the saints. In every relationship you have to learn the power of silence, not to punish but to free.’ I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve (and as someone recently put it: Wear my heart on my FB status), but keeping the most intimate details of your life to yourself, especially when God is busy working on you, can be the best thing one can do. You also become more perceptive and in tune with yourself if you practise silence. The most important thing about silence, is not saying something that you later regret.

 

4)      As is the case every year that I live, people come in and out of your life, especially friends. 2010 was the year when I let go of toxic friendships. I was talking to a good friend on Sunday about how much love, respect and admiration I have for all the people in my life. The ones who have remained with me up to this point are humble, spiritually strong, focused, simple and beautiful souls that energise and inspire me. I’m not looking to be surrounded by perfect people but this year I learnt that birds of a feather actually do flock together.

 

5)      The last and greatest lesson for me in 2010 was definitely related to love. So often we chase it, try to hold on to it, get hurt from it and after it’s over... we’re right back where we started and we continue the cycle (Chasing, holding on, getting hurt). But in a year when I looked God in the eye and said: If it’s not from you, I don’t want it’, I was liberated. When I was young my mother always encouraged me to pray for my husband. That was a bit strange, but she said that God should prepare both of us for the time when we meet and keep our hearts safe so that when we got together, we’d be the best fit for each other. Yes my mother is that deep!  But having done that for years, I cannot begin to describe the feeling of meeting someone who is Just Right for you. When the pieces of the puzzle finally click into place you realise that every single thing you’ve ever been through was preparing you for this. In 2010 I learnt that love is not something to chase / demand / rush. If it’s not there, no amount of hard work or prayer can magically make it real, and when it is there, it’s not loud or boastful or arrogant. Love, as I have experienced it, is gentle and certain. I wish this kind of love on all the people I love.

 

Now we look to 2000 n Elevate, I have a feeling it’s going to be the best year yet!

 

Ozithobayo,

MaDlamini

The Man I'll Spend My Life With - 2009 FB Note

 The man I’ll spend my life with…

• He will believe in God and value his teachings. This doesn’t mean that he will be a fanatic, but he will put God first and acknowledge his role in our lives.
• He will value honesty. A man of integrity who will know that we’re a team and there is nothing that he can’t tell me, and he won’t want to lie because it goes against his principles.
• He will be financially independent. His finances will be in order and he will have plans in place for our future. He will value comfort and the finer things in life, but money will not be everything to him.
• We will laugh together. The best friend in his life will be me, as he is mine. We will share every small part of our lives, have the same sense of humour and be comfortable with each other.
• He will have a positive, ‘don’t-take-yourself-too-seriously’ attitude to life.
• He will be tall, with a small to medium build, with gentle warm hands.
• He will enjoy reading, enjoy having intellectual conversations and sometimes getting philosophical and pondering the deeper questions about life.
• He will have passions that are separate to all that we have in common, these he will pursue and love, but always make space for me and our family.
• He will find the earthy, nurturing side of me very attractive and he will value the essence of who I am (natural, simple, traditional and beautiful).
• We will compliment each other in everything. But we will not be reliant on each other to feel complete. He is a whole person without me, as I am a whole person without him. But together, we bring out the best in each other. (1 + 1 = 3)
• He will find my childlike manner charming and even when I become a busy-body and forgetful, he will think it’s cute and always try to accommodate and understand me.
• He will do all that is within his power to make our relationship work, never give up on us or consciously jeopardise the relationship.
• He will respect himself and not allow me to overpower him or take advantage of his kind nature.
• He will have a spontaneous side to him which will match mine and bring flavour to our relationship as we constantly spice things up by doing things that are daring and out of the ordinary.
• We will strive to build each other up, grow together and be each other’s source of strength (after God).
• He will know all my deepest secrets, but appreciate the woman I’ve become having gone through all that I have. He will admire me.
• He will be artistic (poetry/music/painting or some form of artistic expression).
• He will be humble, treat different classes of people with the same level of respect.
• He will embrace his role as the man and head of the family, as well as my role as his partner and earn my respect. As I submit to him, he will lead and take control, but never take advantage.
• He will consult me in major decisions and respect my opinions and viewpoints.
• He will detest any form of woman abuse, he will never lay a hand on me in anger.
• When he’s uncertain, afraid, insecure or something is bothering him, he will communicate this to me and we will deal with it together.
• He will be in love with all the different sides of me (serious, spiritual, fun, crazy, professional, philosophical, deep, superficial).
• He will be protective of me and always feel the need to keep me safe, secure and comfortable.
• He will always strive to keep me happy and thank God for the blessing of having me in his life (as I will be doing the same).
• He will be smart, assertive and articulate. Able to speak his mind and engage me intellectually.
• He will support me in my dream to become a published author and he will constantly encourage and inspire me to reach for my dreams (as I will be doing the same for him).
• He will be comfortable with who he is and celebrate the different elements of his personality. He won’t require approval or validation from others, but he will be respectful and tactful.
• He will respect my private nature. Know and understand my fears related to intimacy, but constantly and gently strive to get to know all there is to know about me.
• He will allow me to talk, he will realise that expression is what makes me who I am and he will embrace how I express myself through conversation, how I dress, how I decorate the house, through poetry, with photography & art.
• He will never cheat on me on an emotional and/or physical level.
• He will be good looking and confident, but remain humble.
• He will not be threatened by my job or my intellect. But he will not rely on me to be the provider for the family, he will want to be the man and the bread-winner.
• He will be jealous of other men but he will trust me and know that I would never cheat on him or betray what we have.
• He won’t get complacent, he will always be reminding me of how much I mean to him and how he adores me.
• He will be empathetic towards the HIV/Aids pandemic.
• He will have experienced some suffering in his life that will humble him.
• He will be comfortable in social situations and able to adapt to different people.
• He will be comfortable with getting emotional around me, but that doesn’t mean that he will cry often.
• He will take note of important dates and celebrate them with me.
• Although we will both make mistakes, he will remember what has hurt or upset me in the past and make sure that he doesn’t hurt me in the same way again.
• My mother will approve of him.
• He will never get tired of telling me and showing me that he loves me.
• He will find me very intelligent and he will be in love with my mind and my unique view of the world.
• Sexually, he will always pursue giving me pleasure and satisfying me in every way. He will know what excites me and keep finding new ways to take my breath away.
• He will be a versatile lover and know that some days I need an emotional validation from love making, but other days it’s all physical, wild and natural.
• He will have good advisors and when he feels he can’t talk to me, he won’t run to the arms of another woman, rather discuss the issue with a trusted friend.
• He will have a thick skin.
• His family will be supportive of our union and although they will be an important part of our lives, he will always consider what is best for us when making a decision.
• We will stand up for each other and never allow anyone to ridicule or belittle the other person.
• He will be well groomed, and able to look after himself, but he won’t be anal or obsessive.
• After a stressful day, he will find nothing more soothing than sitting alone with me and talking, or a good massage from me or listening to me while I play the piano.
• He will not smoke cigarettes, but he will drink.
• He will not do any drugs, even recreationally.
• He will have good cooking skills and occasionally cook for me.
• He will love my eyes, my height and the shape of my body.
• He will not play ‘survivor’ with me. Meaning that he won’t make me bend over backwards in order to prove that I’m ‘wife material’.
• He will have healthy male tendencies (sport, spending time with the boys, drinking beer, porn etc.).
• He will be mature. During an argument he won’t get childish, insensitive or be cruel.
• He will have an entrepreneurial spirit, and pursue his goals.
• He will love my cooking.
• He will value culture, tradition and where we came from.
• He will be a nurturing, loving and occasionally strict father who adores his children and wants the best for them.
• I will fit at least 80% of his list of requirements of the ideal woman.

The End

It's Not the Mistakes You Made

 It's not the mistakes you made,

But the ones you didn't make.

When i was crazy & u chose to stay,
When my past stood between us,
& U didn't walk away.

It's not the mistakes u made,
But the ones you didn't make.

When u saw me for what I am,
& u chose to love me still.
When the comfort of your arms,
Made me feel loved like no one will,

It's not the mistakes you made,
But the ones you didn't make,

That's why I walked away...

Why Is Africa So Poor?

 Before getting started I think it may be worth considering whether rural subsistence living equates with poverty. One might quite strongly argue that rural subsistence equates with genuine wealth and freedom. Take a look at every socially destructive regime in history and you'll see the wholesale eradication of subsistence farmers. Africa is not intrinsically 'poor', unless you determinedly apply misguided Western cultural notions of poverty and prosperity.

Africa has a wealth of unspoilt beauty, history, community oriented cultural values, creativity and spirituality. Modernised countries tend to equate wealth with status symbols on loan from banks. Take new cars for example. To me driving a new Volkswagen Polo on a five year high interest loan from a bank is not wealth, it is more like allowing a slave to transport itself to its labour camp in a gilded prison carriage.

Second, colonialism has a lot to do with conflict driven poverty in Africa. Uniting diverse tribes into arbitrary nation states is a sure source of conflict - just take a look at Idi Amin in Uganda. Once you put one tribe in power it destroys the precarious balance of centuries and facilitates the type of blood shed that was kept in check by localised, community based power structures. The same thing is currently happening in Iraq where diverse tribes were melded together into a nation state following the dissolution of the Ottoman Empire.

You might also want to take a look at the role of organisations like the IMF and World Bank in creating poverty in Africa (check out 'Confessions of an Economic Hit Man' by John Perkins). Using debt to virtually enslave developing countries, direct development in ways beneficial to the Anglo-American elite and create corrupt, acquiescent governments usually tends to create problems.

I'm writing this response because this whole hullabaloo about development, quite frankly, works on my tits. Before people get excited about development, they might consider asking themselves if the development going on in the world is not more akin to that of malignant tumour than a technologically enhanced utopia. I'm not saying Africa should stay in the stone age, I just think that change needs to be tentative, and informed by African cultural values, rather than directed by a culturally inappropriate (and I think inferior) Anglo-American cultural paradigm. I love living on a continent where wild animals still roam free, where people smile easily, and where everything with beauty hasn't been buried under a carpet of concrete and greed.

(Written by Sven Eik)